New Hampshire was the first state in the nation to embrace marriage equality through the legislative process rather than through the courts. And because of the role of New Hampshire’s first-in-the-nation primary, and the political clout that comes with it, the law helped force a reevaluation of the issue within the American political system. It was a game changer.
The passage of same-sex marriage in New Hampshire didn’t happen exclusively because of the LGBTQ lobby. At the time, they didn’t have much political power. The Democratic Party didn’t support it. The left, the Clintons, the Obamas, and the political establishment largely looked the other way and warned the LGBTQ community of overreach.
It passed because people of all flavors believed in fairness. And it was pushed over the top because some conservatives in New Hampshire responded to appeals for equality under the law. I know this because I was part of those appeals.
I did it by writing articles, submitting them to news organizations, and sending letters to politicians. According to Jim Splaine (the sponsor of the legislation), I had an effect on the law’s passage. Considering the small margin by which it passed, I feel privileged to have been a part of it. And I was honored when Jim invited me to the State House for a coffee after its successful passage.
I am straight. I never had any doubt about my own sexuality. While I’m an Irish Catholic and I try to take my faith seriously, I never doubted what my conscience told me. I had family members whose lives would have turned out very differently if they had been treated with the dignity I believe was due to them. And I understood that while I didn’t understand everyone’s sexuality, I needed to mind my own business and invite others to do the same.
I am a big fan of people minding their own business.
But I was there, in that moment, either changing minds or inviting those whose minds wouldn’t change to understand the futility of blocking the rights of others. And when it passed, I had the privilege of seeing a New Hampshire legislator filmed on WMUR saying that he had changed his vote at the last minute because of an email he had received.
Then he began reading words that seemed remarkably familiar to me. I never went back to check, but I am pretty sure they were my words.
Since then, other issues have arisen within the LGBTQ community. I don’t have all the answers. Those answers may not be found in government but in the day-to-day struggle of the LGBTQ community.
Some solutions can be signed with a pen. Some require a Jackie Robinson to endure the pain and suffering of being first, to change the world simply by refusing to give up.
I continue to cheer for the underdog.
